Hot In Herre





The One.  The Only. Bikram.



While in San Fran last year, I visited the Berkley Community Acupuncture clinic and decided to try out Bikram Yoga for the first time.

Bikram Yoga is a  type of yoga practice hailed by guru Bikram Choundhury.  Yes, he has franchised named after himself.  The 90-minute class is held in a 105 F degree room with bright lights and consists of 26 postures with 2 breathing exercises.  The first set of postures are held for one-minute and the 2nd are held for 30-seconds.

Repeat:  Bikram.  Berkley.

I somehow neglected to put the encompassing factors together: 

Hot-Enclosed room + Berkley = Burning Man 1999 x 100. 

My instructor kept praising my form and determination, albeit, in between Drill Sergent screams, "LOCK YOUR KNEES!"  I could tolerate the pungent body odor.  I was fascinated (impressed?) with the confidence of Bikram students, particularly in their lack of clothing which could even make a Brazilian blush. 

However, the thing I found most distracting was... Body hair.  I may be a feminist but this isn't Europe, ladies... We shave our pits in this country.

I'm back in California, in another hippie-esque town, Davis, and have decided to give Bikram another go. 

My second class didn't go too well.

I was greeted by an insincere receptionist (Receptionists are the first people clients see.  They should be friendly.  Not dipshits.) who ended every sentence as if it was a question, "Uh... The mats?  Yeah... They're like $1. You don't even know what you're in for?"  Thanks for the boost of confidence you cu--...

Actually, I should really begin with the fact that I only slept 3 hours the night before and was rudely awaken by a panic attack.  Yup, straight-up, heart-pounding, gasping-for-air, what-the-fuck panic attack.  Good morning, Sunshine!  

The evening before, I visited the Davis Community Acupuncture clinic and had a superb treatment.  I went in for discoloration in my skin and ended up getting treated for anxiety, panic and a deep sense of fear that I couldn't quite place where it was coming from.  I left with a clear-mind and a less tense trapezoid.  However, I also left very sensitive to the opened-environment.  

Despite having a good breakfast (I don't care what Bikram says... I think it's insane to do a major work-out at an intense heat on an empty stomach), drinking 2 liters of water, making my own "Gatorade"... I was not in the right state of mind for... Well... Militia Yoga.

Within 20-minutes, I started to feel claustrophobic and felt like I was on the verge of another panic attack.  I sat down and actually contemplated, Ya know, I could sit on my ass through the whole class and be totally OK with it. 

I left the class swearing I will never bitch about the cold again.  I did, however, feel like I cleared out a lot of toxins but my head still felt foggy, heavy, loud and noisy. 

I slept well that night (REALLY well.  The Goldilocks-&-the-3-Bears kinda deep sleep) and wanted to give hot yoga another chance.

The following day, I tried a mellow 75-minute hot Vinyasa class at another studio.  Again, greeted by another Yeah-I'm-SO-Much-Cooler-Than-You-Cause-I-Can-Contort-My-Body-And-Look-Absolutely-Ridiculous receptionist/owner.  Fortunately, my instructor was the marshmallow to my gooey S'mores on a crappy, wet camping weekend.



My fav pose: Shavasna aka "Dead Corpse"

The lights were dimmed, incensed was burning and music played softly in the background.  MUSIC!  Bikram studios don't play music or light inscense or dim the lights to a less excruciatingly blinding intensity.  I suddenly realized how important music is to my yoga practice.  Sure, I may practice yoga to the Wu-Tang Clan but whatever, I find Method Man's rough flows... Meditative. 

The instructor just came back from the Big Island where she learned a bit of Qi Gong and Tai Chi.  Qi Gong and Tai Chi are major in Chinese medicine and they're even more stressed upon at OCOM.  I haven't quiet studied it nor do I know the whole story behind them but every time I get the opportunity to practice them, I slowly have a better understanding of why these two will become more important to my life than anything else I will learn in terms of Chinese medicine.

Unlike Bikram, this mellow hot Vinyasa yoga is practiced in room at 99 to 102 F degrees and is flowing with sun salutations not the formatted 26 postures. 



Cupcakes after yoga in SoHo.



It was far more meditative - Just how I like my yoga. 

My crazy mind is racing constantly.  When I'm awake I can't stop thinking about school, work, friends, dates, the future, the past, the present.  My sleep is typically interrupted with vivid dreams of attending a Mexican wedding on Dia De La Murete with Neal Cassady who took too much acid and for some reason, his acid trip is affecting my vision.  My work-outs are just as intense.  I hate exercising so for the 30 to 60-minutes each day, I make it insane so I can spend the rest of the hours doing what I truly enjoy - Eating. 

I appreciate yoga because of its ability to quiet my mind.  The act of breathing while flowing through various postures help me tremendously in being present in the moment.  It's surprising on how quickly my mind shuts down and I'm no longer thinking; and instead, I'm feeling. 

Today, I went back to the same studio and tried a Bikram-styled yoga (Bikram's got some fantastic lawyers.  Yoga studios must be licensed and certified to teach "Bikram" in order to be a part of the franchise and use the name.  The loop-hole is that a studio can teach "Bikram" yoga without calling it Bikram.  Oh, snap!) called "Hot Hatha". 



Bikram 26 postures.

 Same deal:  Hot-ass room, 26 postures with 2 breathing exercises.  At this particular studio though, the lights were dimmed and my instructor was gentle. 

She allowed water breaks whenever we needed, we could sit down if we were on the verge of vomiting or blacking out and she modified a lot of the postures for beginners. 

Fantastic!

She still pushed us and forcefully told us to lock the knees but she did it with a gentle yet firm voice, like Glinda, The Good Witch. 

I don't know if it's cause I've been doing hot yoga back-to-back the last couple of days and I've actually gotten used to the heat or if little things like the lighting and instructor actually make a difference. 

Or, it could have been the fact that I went into class with a completely different mindset.

I didn't go in thinking, "Namaste.  May the light within me bow to the light within you.  I will dedicate this practice to my BFF whom I am grateful to have in my life." 

Nope, I went thinking, "Fool!  This yoga ain't meditating or relaxing!  Mutherfucka, you will lock those knees, charge each position with focus and determination!  This shit ain't for beginners.  This for athletes.  Pain is positive.  You will love it like you love your daddy and your mama!"

In some strange way, the direct and focused mindset I use to get through 30-minutes of boxing helped me push my body during hot yoga.  I'm a firm believer in mind over body.  Trekking 4 days in bloody Sapa, Vietnam with Chuck Taylors during rainy season proved that theory.  I also know what my body is fully capable of and I know my legs are strong. 

I've noticed Bikram is fantastic for muscle building in the lower part of the body.  The postures put heavy use of leg balancing and focus on a lot of random muscles like those in the feet, wrists and ankles which are typically looked-over.  Also, I can't deny it's also been fantastic for my whole back.  No other yoga puts such emphasis on releasing the tension of the entire spine.  I can actually feel each vertebrae.



My Yogi: Rodney Yee

 However, it does not nearly emphasize on the core and upper body as Vinyasa or Iyengar.  My cupcake-top, I mean core and upper body are my weak points and I love how Vinyasa and Iyengar re-shape my deltoids, abdomen, biceps and triceps.  These practices lean out the bulk and density I tend to gain from lifting weights. 


Yogi Iyengar



I'm willing to give Bikram another chance -- Back at the "real" studio.  I bought a 10-day pass so what the hell.  Before I adamantly preach something isn't for me, I want to make sure, triple make sure, I really, really, really hate it before I can truly say, Eh, this isn't for me... And lemme break it down for you on why it sucks...

There are a few things I'm not too sure of Bikram like the whole business model (Franchising?  Really?), the weird Cool-Kids attitude of Bikram students, the lack of gratitude within the practice, crazy fluorescent lights, silence and the fact that we never see the instructors practice.  I find that the strangest.  I'm supposed to listen (and trust) to some dude who hasn't even busted out one posture?  I don't know... That doesn't sit right with me.

But like I said, I'm gonna give it another go.... Because I bought the damn 10-day pass (Yo, I'm on a student budget so yes, I will repeat the fact that I bought a 10-day pass and milk it.)...  And... Because I want to see if it's something that I'm choosing because it doesn't resonate with how I want to practice yoga or if it's something I don't like because it's not familiar. 

Huge difference.  Mature-Grown-Ass-Woman difference. 

I will, however, not make the mistake of standing behind a dude because well... Y'all really do stink and not in that manly-cowboy-sorta way but like the 6-month-jock-strap kinda way AND you can't stop farting.