Keep It Simple, Stupid. Breathe.

Photo by: Gwarf.

Sometimes, I forget to breathe.  It's the very reason why I want to get the word inked on my skin like a permanent Post-It note. 

I've gotten much better but I do find myself gasping for air from time to time.  The major difference is, I catch myself a lot sooner before I black out.  This is a huge.  It saves me from purchasing another one-way ticket to <insert random country I can barely find on the map>. 

The first thing every human-biology student learns is the concept of homeostasis - The body's ability to regulate, within a range, its inner environment in response to the fluctuating outside environment.  "Within a range" is the imperative phrase because "fluctuating" follows it.  It's fluid.  The body temperature doesn't have to be an exact 98.6 F.  It can be 98.2 F and the shit won't hit the fan.

TCM has the similar theory about the importance of staying within a range of balance.  In fact, the word "disease" is not even used.  The body is never "sick" or "healthy" -- It's imbalanced or balanced.

The older I get, the more I realize this concept is critical to not only my health but to my moment-to-moment of living.  At times, it's quite difficult.  It seems against my nature.  I'm the type of person that gets excited over Excel sheets.  I prefer my coffee black.  I like order and solids look better on me.  It's funny how it's always the same -- I find myself overly-confident, struttin' around like I got my shit all planned out.  Only to get bitch-slapped.  How I choose to get back up, dust off my knees, check my heels and re-apply my lipstick is a new experience every damn time.  

I finally registered for my Anatomy and Physiology II class.  A class I was hoping would start in June and discovered it actually starts in July.  This leaves me 2 months of muckin' around and this tiny little shift has made me spiral out of control. 

I get like this.  A minuscule "problem" grows into this insane, unrealistic predicament, like worrying about what sort of education my kids will get while living in Hawaii.  Oye, chica!  Loca en la cabeza!   And... This is when the giant frying pan needs to smack me across the face while a warm, yet stern, voice tells me,

"Keep it simple, stupid.  Breathe." 

One of my dear friends who I met traveling in South East Asia reminded me I need to get to the core of my issue, or rather, "imbalance"; and figure it out before I do something really stupid.  I've been using this and that as an excuse to my mini-panic attacks but the truth is, it's entirely something else.  Something I don't particularly want to deal with right now for whatever reason but something I need to if I want to start breathing properly again. 

Prior to "finding enlightenment", I would have called up my friends, the ones without any last names or have never seen during the day, to party up a storm of whiskey, hip hop and a complimentary buffet of drugs.  I would have found the one who just got out on parole.  I would have bought a pair of ridiculously expensive shoes and justified, in delusion, they "grounded me".  And I would rinse and repeat. 

At 30, it's kinda lame... And boring... And pretty exhausting.



Tin -Tin

La Roux

I need to find a way to de-stress and chill out.  I'm fortunate to have real friends who are intelligent, empathetic, dignified and badass.  They let me rant like an idiot without offering any advice on how to "fix" my problem.  I put on some Timberland and do yoga.  And, though I haven't ran in a year, in the last week, I've been running like I'm Forrest freakin' Gump.  It helps.  All I can focus about is how much I hate running so I don't even have the mental capacity to worry about anything else.  La Roux blasts in my ear and then I start thinking how it'd be awesome if I could pull off that swoosh Tin-Tin hairdo. 

Clearly, I'm neglecting an aspect within myself and "Its" starting to get really jealous.  I get it.  For the past year I've had my blinders on and not even a cute, witty, smart architect could steer me from getting my education on.  Perhaps this is the reason.  I'm about to embark on some major Geek-Chapter of my life and I can't help hear Cute Architect's voice in my head as he sums up his PhD program, "The only risk is that you might end up hating what you spent all those years studying."  It's a big risk, fully acknowledged, which is probably the reason why I'm so hell-bent on making sure I don't neglect the side of me that chases waves, strums the uke or writes stories about characters that make me fall in love. 


Family Room Community Acupuncture - Pacifica, CA


I'm heading for a community acupuncture treatment this week.  Personally, I've found community acupuncture to be perfect for these kinds of situations.  It's like therapy -- Minus all the crying and blaming your parents for everything.  I get poked, cooked, fall asleep and wake up with a sense of clarity and peace to calm the f*ck down... And breathe.