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| That's right, I meditate in Times Square. |
In the midst of one my many Facebook bitching, I had written in haste,
"Right when things seemed to be on track, you get a little turbulence just to test you out and see if you really know your shit."
It was in reference to all these haters I've been encountering since I've been accepted to OCOM.
Prior to making the decision to fully commit to studying a traditional form of medicine, in a world heavily depended on quick results, I was building my armor against all the hate from people who knew nothing about the powerful healing effects of OM. Never in my Taoist dreams, would I have ever predicted, I would need to protect myself from haters in my own community.
To say the least, this has been incredibly disheartening.
It's the Holden Caulfield-theory: Meeting your favorite author is never a good idea. He's never as badass as you imagine him being. Always a disappointment and never as good as the book.
It feels 10,000 times worse to receive such resistance from the people you respect deeply. People who are living The Dream. People who inspire you to continue your path. People who you admire so much that one day you hope they would accept your offer to become your mentor.
Healers vs. Big Pharm.
It's been about a month from the initial hate. Ironically, right after I sent in my deposit to OCOM. Once the initial shock, sadness and confusion kicked in; by the time I received my latest round of hate (at an acupuncture clinic I visited this weekend), I was fully pissed off. My inner-Jersey came out and I caught myself saying (accent and all), 'You know what, you can go fuck yo'self.'
I'm still pretty pissed off... And I'm kinda loving it.
When I look back in hindsight, through all my experiences, it is rage that fuels my need to change and plow forward. So, New York, right? I can't just make daisy crowns from a meadow, flash peace signs and protest by giving out free hugs. Nope, I have to get crazy livid, march forward like a total maniac while screaming from the top of my lungs.
Meh, if Chinese medicine has taught me anything, it's the notion that we're all different. "Unique" might be a better word, in my case.
I suppose I wished these haters from my community would have just broken it down realistically, minus the melodrama. Instead of acting like such Debbie Downers and saying things like:
Don't go to school; don't study this; you'll never be able to pay off your loans; you'll never be able to get a business loan with all your student debt; you'll never make a living beyond $25,000/year; the failure rate is excruciatingly high; your pants is on fire; blah blah blah.
I wished they would have been a bit more level-headed yet still completely honest,
"Yo, this shit's hard. Think 2, 3, 72 times about investing your money, time and life into this because you're gonna have to hustle."
To me, the latter is exactly how I see it.
I'm convinced the majority of the people who choose to study this medicine come to this conclusion at the end of some sort of 'I-Hit-Rock-Bottom' journey typically consisting of some sort of loss of health. I would be surprised if the majority of these people just woke up one day and thought, 'Ya know what, I think I'm gonna study this acupuncture thingy 'cause it's like so cool.'
Clearly, there is a journey we all took. A journey that involved a lot of pain, tears, heartache, doubt, fear, anxiety and eventually, finally, an immense amount of clarity.
As I've mentioned time and time again, I'm no hippie so obviously, I realize heart, guts and soul isn't enough to make a living as an OM practitioner. This revelation has led me to recognize the good in all these haters. Up until this point, I have received a surprisingly heavy load of support from friends, families and random strangers. They've all been interested despite their own hesitation to actually receiving TCM (all due in time). My past school/work experiences have taught me nothing is easy as it sounds. I've been immensely weary of schools that have advertised the amazing lifestyle of an acupuncturists in which I can open my own practice, travel around in a cruise ship, help indigenous people in the Andes! I'm not a dumbass 19 year-old anymore. I'm a grown-ass 30-year old woman and I know a sales pitch when I hear one.
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| Oh, Kelly! |
I've come to the conclusion, these haters have kept me in check by forcing me to realize I really have to get on top of the business game. Although most OM schools provide a couple business classes, I've always felt these weren't enough. I know it will be up to me to seek out the business education I need in order to well, essentially, in the wise words of Destiny's Child, "Pay my bills." because "I'm a survivor/I'm not gonna give up." Who knew Destiny's Child would have such an impact on my career change?
It's a fine line for health practitioners to talk about the M-word. Money is viewed as sinful as relying on allergy medications. However, I do believe there is room for honest communication and we need to get over this crazy idea of wanting to save the world without getting a pay check for it. We're taught to always take care of our own health prior to treating patients. If we're not healthy (mind, body and spirit) than there's no way we'll be capable of healing others. I'd like to use the same example and say, we need to take care of ourselves, financially, in order to help our community. No one's gonna get treated if there ain't no place to get treated, genius.
There has to be a way of discussing finance (profit) without viewing patients as clients; and without feeling like a scummy time-share agent. It's a fine line but I'm determined to figure it out.
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| Taman Negara, Malaysia |
I truly believe when you're on the right path, there will be more resistance; solely because this is exactly what you're meant to do. At the end of the day, it's all about survival of the fittest. It only makes sense, the most competent individuals earn the right to heal and become leaders. Personally, I don't want to be a part of a community full of a bunch of whinning dummies. I want to be a part of a community which act logically with a deep sense of compassion; and the intelligence to change the world.
