Such a Cliche



Jane Austen - Warhol style.


I've been thinking a lot about Jane Austen recently and am reminded of a common argument I have frequently amongst all my female friends, "Can we have it all?" 

A few months ago I went to hear Gloria Steinem speak.  This amazing woman who wrote countless essays, spoke and protested all throughout the 60s and 70s -- This woman who inspired me to become a feminist back in 1995 when I didn't even know what it really meant to be called the 'F-word'. 

My BFF quickly pointed out that it was Steinem who f-ed things up for women of our generation by saying, 'Yes, we CAN have it ALL.'.  I think at the time, women wanted to just have the option to have it all.  There's no way, Steinem or any other feminists during that time could have imagined our desire to have it all could quite possibly be the very thing that prevents us from having it all. 

Clearly, I've gone through a very dark period in my life by truly encompassing the biggest quarter-life crisis cliche -- Traveling AND graduate school.  At a time when all my friends were settling down, getting engaged, married, knocked up and pregnant -- I've decided this would be the perfect time to neglect my personal life for the next, oh, give or take, decade. 

My argument and belief is, women can have it all... Just not at the same time. 

I've been looking at a lot of stats and researching like hell for the past year.  I've demanded answers from every OM school I've visited, reading blogs; and no one can give me hard facts on why so many acupuncturists fail to make a proper living.

Not enough business classes.  Excluding the niche market.  Catering to the niche market.  Unable to apply for a business loan due to the incredulous amount of student debt. 

I haven't quite figured out what sort of practice I want.  Sure, I have my big avocado dream but that's when I'm retired and wise and the idea of living on an avocado farm with a bunch of goats seems like the only reasonable way of living.  Until then, I want to work and utilize the skills I've learned during the near decade of school when everyone's telling me I'm at my prime to pro-create. 

My brain wants to make a footprint in researching which is a huge reason why I chose OCOM.  The school has been funded by the National Institute of Health (NIH) multiple times for various research.  More specifically, I'm interested in Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and how OM can help in conjunction with cognitive language therapy.  I fantasize about the idea of totally geeking out by wearing lab coats, reading research papers and having arguments with other nerds.

My heart caters to athletes - Surfers, dancers, jocks - People who depend heavily on their body.  The main pro is that these people are highly educated on the anatomy and physiology of their body so I don't need to count to 10, breathe meditatively and explain in a calm manner why eating shit that "claims" they're healthy is not the same as eating real food - ahem, Fiber One, I'm talking to you.  These people are also more inclined to look for alternative methods to healing their body simply because they can't be zonked out and heavily medicated right before game night. 

And then there's my soul, which reminds me I have chosen a career that is deeply rooted in the notion of service.  Healing is serving.  How can I possibly serve people who are in great need when they can't afford it?  So far, the only legitimate answer I've come across is to treat in  a community setting at a sliding scale. 

Whichever road I choose, I have to realize it comes with an enormous amount of sacrifice if I want to be successful.  Ugh, another cliche.  <Insert stupid Rom-Com starring beautiful yet approachable actress and boyishly-good-looking, charming actor of the moment.>


Step-ford Robot Wives - The original.

 I could totally be wrong and maybe we can have it all and all at the same time.  However, I know, for me personally, I can't.  I can't give the same amount of energy to two different things with the same amount of passion, intensity and dedication.  I'm in awe of women who can.  I'm convinced these are the same women who have impeccable homes,happily married with well-behaved children, serve soup to the homeless, tan all-year-round, sexually satisfied and... Robots. 

I look at all my successful male friends now in their 30's.  Throughout their 20's, they worked long hours, hauled ass and made sure their career came before their personal relationships.  They loved what they were doing; and as I'm getting pretty stoked at the idea of becoming a doctor, I'm also becoming incredibly selfish.  Fiercely independent and selfish are two difficult qualities to endure. 

Probably not the best example considering the recent legal allegations (sexual not medical) but nonetheless, NFL acupuncturist, Lisa Ripi's story sounds like something I'm willing emulate, temporarily, if it means I get to do what I want and get paid.  Is this nuts?

"In 13 years of working with N.F.L. players, Ripi said proudly, she never missed an appointment. She did miss dozens of holidays, did have three marriages end in divorce, did make abundantly clear her first priority." - NY Times November 2010.

And yes, I do acknowledge the irony of my commitment and the belief of equilibrium in the medicine I plan on studying.