Tall Glass of Haterade



What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage!



I was born in Kansas, so naturally, my all-time childhood film is "Wizard of Oz".  I've always found myself as the Scarecrow.  Friends would probably say I'm more like the Tin-Man.  But lately, I found myself identifying with the Lion. 

Not too long after being accepted to OCOM (holla!), I've been getting some hate from people I respect and wondering, 'Crap, is this a mistake?' 

I don't like to consider myself "flakey" but my professional resume may seem a bit... Off-beat?  Unique?  Requires a bit of explaining in the additional information box? 

I'm about to drop $200,000 on 6 years of education.  Swallowing my pride and succumbing to a life of a poor, struggling student at a time in my life when everyone's getting married and having kids.  For the first time, my irrational fear of monogamy could be quite beneficial.  There are loads of people who work the thrift bins, get funky haircuts from student hairstylists, live in super cool flats with furniture they've found dumpster diving -- But I've done that and I'm not really looking forward to going back. 



Delicioso! Lobster @ Morimoto, Philly.

I'm not bouge by any means and don't get it twisted, I much rather spend money on a trip to some dope island than some four-star hotel in Miami; however, I do love falling asleep on my a 600-thread Egyptian cotton bed sheets and spending $250 an orgasmic meal with a good friend is worth it.  These are just a couple of luxurious necessities I've already started missing in the last year. 

Although Oriental medicine, more specifically, acupuncture, has been supported by WHO, NIH and loads of other legit programs; it's still revered as a "last resort".  I just read an article today on the issue of health insurance coverage for CAM treatments.  Unlike conventional medical practitioners, finding a job after graduation requires a great deal of hustling.  I'm told most end up having to open their own practice which I imagine is incredibly difficult in terms of getting a loan when you have a mondo student debt. 

When I told my brother I was interested in going to school to study Oriental medicine, the consummate lawyer-to-be, suggested the idea of doing something related to CAM that wouldn't require me to spend all those years and money. 

To be honest, that thought didn't even cross my mind.  He's thinking logically and smart.  Dude just graduated from law school!  I have the terrible habit of thinking with my heart and soul; illogically and stoopid.  Although he may have his own minor health issues; he's never had his health ripped and taken away from him the way that I have with my own issues like depression, anorexia and addiction. 

Oriental medicine saved my life.  It sounds so freakin' dramatic but it's true.  It didn't just get me walking again -- It completely changed my way of thinking and living.  When I woke up, paralyzed from my waist down, all I wanted to do was to walk again.  It took me 2 years to realize the acupuncture and herbs that helped me were my catalyst to recognize all my health issues - physical, mental, emotional and spiritual - were interrelated and if I wanted to avoid getting that ill again then I better get my shit together. 



Last-Minute Leap in SF.



I'm passionate about studying this medicine, so to me, it's something I have to do -- Jumping in, wholeheartedly.   

I'm still trying to figure out how I can make a living in a field that's dedicated to service while living in a society that is still resistant to it. 

I'm not a revolutionist.  I don't like to preach.  And I'm constantly working on my New York/Korean fiery temper. 

I know this medicine typically requires more than just one session.  It's not a Magic Pill - Take-One-and-Call-Me-in-the-Morning kinda thing.  I want to provide healing to everyone who needs it; yet at the same time, I need to know I'll be able to pay back my massive loans, make a comfortable living, take my friends out occasionally and  live, not dream, my life.

At the end of the day, all this hate got me thinking.  Moving to Portland, a city that is so forward-thinking, is going to blind me to the rest of the country.  Even living in NYC, the cosmopolitan city of the universe, I still get *pause* *weird stare* every time I mention I want to study Oriental medicine.  I need to constantly be thinking out of the box and work towards making this medicine more approachable but with a proper business mindset 'cause this sista likes to eat!



"I'd be King of the Forest." -- Lion.

More importantly, like the Lion, I need to tap into my Courage. 

Accept it, recognize it and plow forward. 

I'm reminded of this little saying that helps me tremendously any time I start feeling like a real scardy-cat:

"Force is always met with resistance.  Lean into the discomfort."

* On a side-note:  I've just been told I am one of the recipient of OCOM's Board of Trustees 2011 Scholarship Award.  It's not much but psychologically, it's a total high-five and gives me a boost of confidence.  Boo-yah!